Tired Tuesday

Tuesday morning. It’s very windy out there. Blowing in a snowstorm I think. The high today is supposed to be near 50. It won’t last long. Just a tease. A reminder. A foretaste. A whisper: Spring is right around the corner.

Last night I worked at Curves and I was doing the club announcements (done every 30 minutes) and I said something about special workout time we’re offering on Feb.2. Then it dawned on me: February starts on Friday. When did that happen? One month of this year is just about gone. Did I blink? Sneeze? Where? When? I know I didn’t sleep it away.

No word from the attorney. I’m almost numb to this matter right now. It’s odd. I don’t feel anything. Is that denial? Is it peace? It is definitely surrender. I have no control. I have done what I can do. The matter is in the hands of another and others. So I wait for word and keep at what I need to be doing.

I was working with a new referral to the program this morning. She has not been convicted of her crime. Everything is still pending. She has so much remorse and shame. She’s never been in trouble before—not that she’s never done anything wrong. She said she never even got a speeding ticket before. She’s in totally uncharted waters. She can’t afford an attorney so she has to wait until her case is heard so that an attorney can be assigned to her. This makes the waiting all the worse, because there’s no one advising her right now. She cried in our meeting. I helped her talk to her case worker about things. She’s got a great resume. I think we can help her find work, but it’s hard to refer her when I don’t know what her situation is going to be. She will probably only get probation, but one never knows these things and should prepare for the WCS (worst case scenario). I took an extended amount of time with her. It was time well-spent.

Tuesday night. I’m tired. I’m glad I had the encounter with the young woman today, because if I hadn’t I would seriously be wondering if I shouldn’t just resign. There are so many without jobs. So few jobs to be had—less and less each day. And most folks just don’t get it—at least most of the folks I work with. Some days I feel like I’m trying to tell a three year old how to be employed. And they just don’t get it.

I have to go into Curves in a few minutes. I want to get my workout in before I have to clean and have staff meeting. The owners are there/here this week. Yehaw. I’m supposed to have my annual review. Maybe I’ll get a raise. I already know that I get vacation. Ooh, aah.

I’m just tired. Low, low energy. Would love to stay home tomorrow. Bet it won’t snow that much. Sigh.