On Cue

I signed up to write the weekly devotional article in our town’s newspaper for April 11. The article has to be at the paper by Wednesday April 9 at noon. I wrote it this morning and emailed it off to the editor TODAY. Here’s what I wrote:

On Time in Mostland

This morning as I was pulling out of my garage to head to work, I began singing an old hymn-or trying to, anyway. “Just when I need him…Jesus is near…Just when I need Him most.” I couldn’t remember anymore than that. I started to try to and then decided: why did I need to? I gave the Spirit permission to use the pieces I did have to speak into my heart.

Just when I need Him most. I like that when I find myself in over my head and like Peter sinking beneath the waves I find His hand outstretched ready to pull me to safety. The problem is that there are times when I think the moment of “most” has arrived and I don’t see His hand or sense His presence. Where is He? I’ve come to the conclusion that we, God and I, have a different definition of “most.”

For example, there are moments when God’s overwhelming presence comes over me and I have no clue why. The day seems normal. The tasks more than accomplishable. No warning signs flash before me. And yet He is unmistakably there. I must confess that I barrel ahead, bold in my ignorance, protected by unseen hands. He is there working behind the scenes—working all things for my good.

Other times God shows up, knowing I’m headed right into Mostland and lays before me graces and wisdom that He knows I will need. With all the impetuousness of youth, I am so sure that I have the answer or that I can get through on my own strength and wisdom that I give God a discourteous “no thank you” nod and march straight for disaster. Then when the dust settles and the wounds heal, I sit there wondering how I could show such disdain for God’s offer of grace.

On the fly, I did an internet search of the phrase “just when i need him most” and came up with 157123453 hits. Some of them had to do with baseball team sluggers, Pat Paulsen for president, and Superman. I would have laughed it wasn’t so sad. How many things do we turn to when life gets overwhelming and we need help the most?

There’s an oft quoted and usually misunderstood verse tucked into Paul’s letter to the Corinthians. I really like the way the Message presents it, because so many of the other versions put periods where need to keep reading.

No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it. (1 Cor. 10:13)

I don’t know when you’ll reach Mostland, or if you’ll miss it like I sometimes do, but this I do know: Just when you need Him, Jesus is near. Just when you need Him most!
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I left work and went to workout. Nelson had an appointment at the ankle doctor. He has been struggling with pain and has had to get his cane back out. Today the doctor told him that his best option for getting rid of the pain is another operation, this time to fuse the ankle. He’ll find out in about 10 days whether Worker’s Comp will cover this (they most likely will). He’ll then be off work for 12-16 weeks. I don’t know how we’re going to be able to afford this. Right now I feel like I could eat a dozen donuts.

I am at the edge of Mostland. I won’t eat the donuts, but I may sit down and have a good cry.