Hi, I'm Daisy.

Today is day two of Nutrisystem. I have followed the plan to the letter. I have been very pleased that I haven’t been hungry. I think in part that’s because the plan pays attention to the glycemic index. If you put the right stuff in the engine runs better.

Now, I want to go on record to assure you that I didn’t win the lottery. Yes, Nutrisystem is more costly than eating mac and cheese, but Nelson got this batch off ebay for a really good price. I will be doing this for the month of June to kick start my weight loss goals.

Today I had my follow up appointment with the doctor. The results were mostly good. My liver enzymes were good; no signs of diabetes; blood counts are good; and thyroid function is good. My cholesterol though is over what is recommended. My total is 218 and they don’t want you over 200. She gave me some dietary recommendations and wants me to redo my blood work in six months. I told her that I was starting Nutrisystem, and she said it wasn’t bad, but it’s not for the long haul. I agreed and explained my plan. She let me know that she’s a member of Weight Watchers and has lost 60 pounds.

This has had me thinking about my food addiction and eating disorder. Is it really that bad? Yep. I have used food to celebrate, to commiserate, to punish, to hide behind, and a whole lot of other ways that are not healthy for me. I love sweets and just don’t have the ability to stop. My parents were functioning alcoholics. If research means anything, I am likely predisposed. I never cared for the taste of alcohol, but I’ll trade up and take my sugar baked or buried in chocolate. It is an addiction.

When my boss came into work this morning he stopped at my office door and asked if I read the news. I had not gotten to the paper (I opted to be spiritual first and was reading my devotion). He informed me that are recently reassigned administrative assistant was in the police log. Since we work with the part of the population who struggles with legal issues, the Police Logs is the first section we turn to. In our town you don’t break the law in private.

So, our gal was picked up for shoplifting (a pregnancy test, cold medicine, and a bottle of vodka). She just got off probation after serving 18 months in prison for drug and alcohol related charges. She knew what she needed to do: avoid it like the plague. Like most of us, she didn’t do that which she knew.

My heart is breaking for her. I will call her, but I worry that shame may cause her to isolate and that will just make things so much worse. She had been encouraged to attend meetings, get a sponsor, but she shied away from accountability. It’s not a good thing to do. We were created for relationship, with God and one another.

And that brings me back to my conversation with the doctor and doing what I know. As she was making her pitch for Weight Watchers, she mentioned that she felt that a big part of what makes WW so successful is the meetings: connecting with people and stepping on that scale—ACCOUNTABILITY!

My weight has been creeping back on. I wanted to blame it on my thyroid or metabolism changing. I quit going to Curves, blaming it on cost and time. I don’t like the way I look or feel. I don’t want to blimp out again. That’s why I decided to start eating on purpose. But I have to quit hiding too. I may write more about the journey. This is one place where I’m comfortable wrestling with my issues. Hold me accountable. Help me do what I know I need to do.

And thanks in advance, you have been there through so many rough times. I imagine you will be now, too.